A Depressing Moment

I don't ever like feeling like this.
Like I'm second best.
It's everywhere I look.
I'm the one you go to when your number one is occupied.
Everything is more important than what I feel because you always know I'll be around.
I'm looked over for boyfriends, other people who in some cases never gave a care or listened, someone new, someone old...Just other people all the time.
And yet, I always listen and I've always be around when you've needed me.

I also feel like a lot of the time, I impose myself on people.

'It's our thing.' You have no idea how much that one line slices through me when ever I hear it. I'm sorry. I don't think I'll bother anymore.

....
And then it's after moments like these when I sit and wonder...
Do they even notice I feel this way? Or am I just the most amazing actor?

And then I think I should tell them how I feel.
And I think;
'What difference would that make?'

I'll sit here for a moment and take a deep breath.
Maybe things will look up. I've got to have faith they will.

And then I know. I need to start looking out for myself.
But after all these years of putting everyone before myself...How do I do that?
I don't know but I think I'm going to find out or my heart will always remain in tiny little pieces.